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Reverend Variable

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The Reverend Variable (that's me) is proud to have been turned away by several other services claiming to offer "Psychic" consultations via the Internet. Why? I wouldn't play by their rules. I don't charge by the minute, I don't want to keep you talking when you're done, and I don't think you or anyone else should fall for that kind of bull-squash. I won't tell you that I can help when I can't. I'm not some miraculous know-it-all mystic with super powers (and frankly, neither is anyone else that I've ever met). Hire me to help you, and you'll be doing as much work as I do. I'll just be showing you how. And once you know how, you won't have to rely on anyone else again.

Some people say I'm scary. But wouldn't you rather be scared than screwed?

Magic, Magick, Magix

Aleister Crowley started the tradition of spelling magic with a K -- magick -- in order to distinguish the metaphysical practice from the illusions of a stage magician. This spelling has been adopted by many witches, wizads and sorcerors over the years. Feh. I don't like it. Nothing against neo-pagan/Wiccan types (hey, some of those people are my best friends), but it's become a little too saccarine for me. No offense to the real witches, but personally, I can't read magick-with-a-k without thinking of people covered in glitter, running around naked in the woods with little pots of "fairie dust" that they bought at the New Age store. I believe that reality-shaping is a science, not an affectation. I don't want to pray or light little scented candles or flutter around, I want to GET SHIT DONE.

Ergo, MAGIX.
Now, don't tell anyone. Let's see how long it takes before this version gets corrupted by the Blob, too.


I've been practicing magix since I was a child. I've learned that some things work better than others, and that everyone has their very own style which will get the best results for them. I can help you find yours.

I'm a professional Tarot reader (look for me working the bar circuit in the Pacific North West, mostly in the Portland area). I teach mathematics and science (among other things) with a metaphysical slant at the Grey School, an online magical academy.

Not least importantly, I'm a writer and an artist, as well. The imagination has a lot to do with magix, and I've got plenty of that. Currently, I'm working on the second draft of my book that details the magixal system of the Somnicists. After studying many different magical systems, I realized that none of them really fit my personality, so I'm making up my own. Look for more details sometime in 2012 (or hire me and get a sneak preview).

Spiritual Path

I'm not a Christian. I'm not a Wiccan. I'm not a Buddhist. I'm kind of a Satanist, but probably not the way you think. I'm not an Athling or an Atheist or a Klingon. These are all valid belief systems, and I've dabbled in all of them and more, but nothing has ever stuck. I'm not any one thing, really, although I do have my SubGenius membership card on hand at all times, just in case the spaceships come.

I like math and physics and music and dreams and art and stories and fractals and chaos.

Well, what did you expect from a priest named "Variable?"